Stoicism
Don'ts
- Fearing change:
- Avoid fear in general, but especially change. Marcus Aurelius: "All things are born of change".
- Advance preparation enables us to handle anything.
- "What am I going to do about tomorrow? I'm going to meet it with the same weapons I met today."
- Know what you're capable of: you don't need to fear change and cling to what you know.
- You don't need a preference about how things will go today.
- Indifference doesn't mean you don't care.
- Sweating the small stuff:
- A lot happens, but little of it matters.
- You're better off not giving small things more attention.
- Avoid things that aren't up to you, don't move you closer to your goals, distractions from what you should be doing.
- You don't need an opinion on everything. If it's not essential, ignore it.
- Valuing others' opinions over your own:
- When criticised, consider what the person:
- submitted to;
- is to you;
- is addicted to;
- has accomplished; and
- whether that opinion should supersede your own.
- Focus on who you want to be.
- We value ourselves over others, so why do we value their opinions more than our own?
- When criticised, consider what the person:
- Seeking revenge:
- You don't need to get even when wronged: the best revenge is to not be like those who wrong you.
- Seneca on anger: "you'd never return a kick to a mule, or a bite to a dog".
- Let it go.
- Starting from behind:
- Avoid frenetic energy from consumption at the moment you wake.
- Stop being jerked around like a puppet.
- Control the inputs: prioritise your own concerns over others.
- Being too reachable:
- Responding in realtime is not productive, and can be miserable.
- Having opinions:
- Let it go -- you don't need opinions.
- Seeking outside approval:
- Epictetus: this hands over our autonomy to others.
- Create your own scorecard for what you value.
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