Stoicism

Don'ts

  • Fearing change:
    • Avoid fear in general, but especially change. Marcus Aurelius: "All things are born of change".
    • Advance preparation enables us to handle anything.
    • "What am I going to do about tomorrow? I'm going to meet it with the same weapons I met today."
    • Know what you're capable of: you don't need to fear change and cling to what you know.
    • You don't need a preference about how things will go today.
    • Indifference doesn't mean you don't care.
  • Sweating the small stuff:
    • A lot happens, but little of it matters.
    • You're better off not giving small things more attention.
    • Avoid things that aren't up to you, don't move you closer to your goals, distractions from what you should be doing.
    • You don't need an opinion on everything. If it's not essential, ignore it.
  • Valuing others' opinions over your own:
    • When criticised, consider what the person:
      • submitted to;
      • is to you;
      • is addicted to;
      • has accomplished; and
      • whether that opinion should supersede your own.
    • Focus on who you want to be.
    • We value ourselves over others, so why do we value their opinions more than our own?
  • Seeking revenge:
    • You don't need to get even when wronged: the best revenge is to not be like those who wrong you.
    • Seneca on anger: "you'd never return a kick to a mule, or a bite to a dog".
    • Let it go.
  • Starting from behind:
    • Avoid frenetic energy from consumption at the moment you wake.
    • Stop being jerked around like a puppet.
    • Control the inputs: prioritise your own concerns over others.
  • Being too reachable:
    • Responding in realtime is not productive, and can be miserable.
  • Having opinions:
    • Let it go -- you don't need opinions.
  • Seeking outside approval:
    • Epictetus: this hands over our autonomy to others.
    • Create your own scorecard for what you value.

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